We might be a little on the late side, but my classmates and I have graduated!
As with most fantastic and wonderful mile stones, the day went by so quickly that it’s hard to think that after the first fifteen minutes of endless fidgeting and straightening of your gown, it’s all pretty much a blur. All I can really remember of actually being on stage is the fact that I couldn’t shake my nervous Cheshire-cat grin, and that the Vice Chancellor seemed very sincere when he congratulated in graduating. So sincere, in fact, I almost thought that he believed I wouldn’t have passed in the first place. Thanks, VC.
I did all of the traditional things that one should do when wearing the cap and gown. I posed for photographs with my friends, I threw my cap in the air, I almost hit someone in the face after I threw my cap in the air…
The memories of this fine day will remain with me forever.
But, what’s next?
It seems like it’s such a final moment, such a sudden and epic propelling into the big, bad world of adult responsibilities that I actually stopped and wondering if what I was doing was right. I still can’t honestly answer that it is. As many know, my living in London is a constant up-and-down. I hate the vastness and the cold detached feel to the place, but there’s so much possibility and so many more prospects that I shouldn’t be turning my nose up at the endless possibilities. But, I’m just a small town girl. And before we get into Journey, I think my heart belongs to the smaller towns.
As for my job, well… I have to wonder if the dreams I’ve had since I was younger will suffer under this current employment regime and I do wonder if University set me up for this, to feel like this. Of course, I’m being vague around my emotions for personal reasons, but I’m sure there will be many of you reading this and nodding and knowing exactly where I am for as many of you that don’t have a clue as to what language I’m speaking.
You win some, you lose some.
Let’s just say that I had an epiphany at University, and that’s left me with some decisions to make and some soul-crushing hours to fulfil.
Many of you will have been here, exactly where I am, staring at your computer screen and wondering how this singular event that lasted only a few flown-by hours, thinking: is this it? Am I a grown up now? Do I have to be? Have the choices I’ve made set me up for life? Is my life set in stone?
The answer to these questions can all be the same: no! Life is such a marvellous thing. It can sit with you, pretending to lounge as you slouch your way through your daily life but it’s changing and it’s changing you with it and you can fight it as much as you like, or rather ignore it as much as you like, but you’ll inevitably come to the same conclusions that all people do.
Life is what you make of it. If you want to do something new, you should do it. If you want to grind your teeth and fight back into control of your life, you can do it. I’m starting to feel a little like a motivational speaker now, but the truth is that sometimes the world is going to be a bastard and it’s going to beat you down until you’re a little weeping mess on the floor. Just take the time to build up your strength, take a deep breath, and tell it to fuck off.
Until next time!
Live Long and Prosper